Life TherapyTM
Psychotherapy & Coaching + Mindfulness & Meditation

How to Stop Tantrums

All right mamas and daddies, are you ready for this one? How to stop tantrums? Tantrums are the hardest! Trust me, I know.

Here are a few strategies for dealing with tantrums that I’ve done, and that I’ve talked to my clients about, so I’m sharing them with you in case you find them helpful too.

Number 1: Be prepared!

Analyze the situation that you’re getting into, and think in advance: are your children going to be tired, are they going to be hungry, are they going to want your attention, do you need to bring them toys?

Think about all the possible ways in which your kids could get uncomfortable, and prepare. Kids have tantrums when they’re uncomfortable in some sort of way, so if you’re prepared to keep them comfortable, they will less likely get tantrums.

Number 2: Praise your kids for positive behaviors.

Praise your children when they talk well, act a certain way, say thank you when they help you, and always tell them when something they do is wonderful.

Giving them praise for positive things is more likely to ensure positive behaviors in the future.

Number 3: Give your kids compliments in front of others.

I like this one a lot. For example, I love saying: Oh, did you know what Zen did today,” and “Guess what Liv did today,” in front of their Dad in a way that they’re overhearing. That emphasizes the compliments, since they’re not just given to them directly.

Number 4: Give your children enough attention.

Children act out when they want our attention. The more attention they receive from us, the more that they feel seen, heard, understood, and the less likely they are to act out. So, when in doubt, give them attention.

My son Zen is the king of tantrums, and when I give him a date, time for just the two of us, for Mommy and Zen, he becomes another human being for the next few days, because he got all the love and attention that he really wanted.

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