Our fairy tales suggest that happily ever after “just happens” when you “fall in love”… I’ve always said real love is a choice.
My wife and I have known each other since high school, but didn’t date until much later. We had only dated a couple of weeks before we realized that we were madly in love and wanted to get married.
I was all for it! I even suggested a spontaneous, immediate wedding in Vegas. (Seriously.) Kim, however, was a bit more practical about the whole thing. She wanted to take time to plan it all out.
I felt deflated. “We’re so different,” I said. “You like to plan, while I like to be spontaneous.”
Kim’s eyes widened. “I can be spontaneous!” she said, hurriedly. “I can totally be spontaneous. You just have to tell me in advance when you want to be spontaneous, and I will write it down in my planner…”
I gave her a strange look. She was totally serious! Clearly, Kim did not understand the meaning of spontaneity.
Funny as it may seem, the more I think about this conversation the more I’ve come to realize that planning to love someone–or choosing to love someone–is actually one of the most beautiful things about love.
I’ve heard it said that real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.
Read the rest of this article by Seth Adam Smith, HERE…
A divorced man wrote epic marriage advice. Hindsight is 20/20… If you believe your relationship is the most important part of your life, make sure you are paying attention to what it takes to keep it.
MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…
1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
Read the rest of this article HERE.
See Gerald Rogers’ original Facebook post HERE.
Powerful insight in “Why Do We Kiss” by Michael Stevens from Vsauce. Not only was it interesting to consider why we kiss, but this also gave a lot of poignant insight about how babies respond to being rejected or ignored by parents.
So many people struggle with the ways in which they wish their partner was different. These articles really show the ways that an ideal partner “should” be. Rather than reading these articles from the framework of whether your partner is up to par, how about looking at yourself? Are you holding up your side of the bargain?