Life TherapyTM
Psychotherapy & Coaching + Mindfulness & Meditation

How to Know When to End a Relationship

Choosing whether or not to stay in a relationship can be a difficult decision.  In this article, Steve Pavlina provides an overview of a helpful book called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum.  I hope you enjoy!
How to Decide When to End a Long-Term Relationship
here are some of the main points:

  • “What if your relationship is pretty good, like a 7 on a scale of 1 to 10? Should you stay, openly committing to that relationship for life? Or should you leave and look for something better, something that could become even better?”
  • “Kirshenbaum’s solution is to…Diagnose the true status of your relationship instead of trying to weigh it on a scale. This will provide you the information you need to make an intelligent decision and to know precisely why you’re making it.”
  • “The author’s recommendations are based on observing the post-decision experiences of multiple couples who either stayed together or broke up after suffering from a state of ambivalence…”
  • “…where a break-up is recommended, it’s because most people who chose to stay together in that situation were unhappy, while most people who left were happier for it. So long-term happiness is the key criteria used, meaning the happiness of the individual making the stay-or-leave decision, not the (ex-)partner.”
  • “…a relationship should enhance your life, not drain it. At the very least, you should be happier in the relationship than outside it.”
  • “If you’re spending your relationship fighting resistance more than sharing love, you’re probably better off letting it go and embracing a relationship that will provide greater mutual rewards for less work.”

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