Life TherapyTM
Psychotherapy & Coaching + Mindfulness & Meditation

Relationships: "Why Do We Fight?"

Dear Jasmin,
I love my boyfriend a lot and we generally get along great, but sometimes we can so quickly shift out of being good, to getting pissed at each other.  Any idea why this happens?
Confused Fighter
Dear Confused Fighter,
This is very common, and you are not alone. In general most people tend to have a “black box” full of uncomfortable or difficult past feelings and experiences, that we try to keep hidden and closed deep down inside us.  Unfortunately in our society, we are not taught the proper ways to handle these feelings and we develop ways to push them down and avoid them.  What often happens in significant relationships in particular, is that due to our vulnerability to this person, we are closer to having that “black box” open, and the partner is  more likely to trigger something that opens this box and let’s all of the past anger, sadness etc. out. (Which can often trigger something in response that opens their black box too.)
What is most important in helping avoid these situations in the future, is taking the time and learning the skills to go into that box and empty it out properly….and I happen to know someone who can help you do that! 😉

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