This can be really challenging and annoying, but the best thing you can do is try to figure out how to take better care of your needs, and how to be more selfish as well. Not selfish in a negative way, but selfish as in prioritizing yourself and your needs, making those needs known, and taking care of them.
Share your requests and requirements, say what you need, and then make sure you get it. That will help you learn that when your partner is being selfish, it isn’t necessarily about you. It might just be them taking care of their needs, and it could be something for you to learn from.