The second tip on how to get on the same page with your spouse is about understanding that we all have different love languages.

 
There are five fundamental languages of love:

  • Touch
  • Words
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Quality time

 
Everyone has a different way of giving and receiving love. Think of it in terms of languages – one person speaks Chinese and another person speaks French. These two people could love each other so much, but if one person is saying “I love you” in a language that the other person doesn’t understand, then it’s not being received.

So it’s very important for you to realize what is the thing that your partner complains most about? What do they nag you most about? Because that’s usually their language of love. If they say: “you’re not taking out the trash,” that means acts of service. That’s how they need you to demonstrate love, by doing acts of service. If they say: “you don’t hug me or touch me enough,” their language of love is touch. If they say: “you don’t tell me you love me,” their language of love are words.

You need to pay attention to what are the core complaints of your partner, and realize that they need to be given love in the language that they hear it and receive it, because otherwise you could be giving them love all day long, but they won’t be getting it.

Jasmin Terrany, LMHC

Jasmin Terrany, LMHC has a Skype based private practice empowering women who appear to have it yet still feel unsatisfied on some level. She helps women access their ultimate potential and take their lives to the next level in every realm. Jasmin is a Columbia University graduate and licensed psychotherapist who invented Life Therapy, the combination of psychotherapy & coaching with mindfulness & meditation.
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