Sometimes, it’s difficult to know exactly what to say when someone comes to us with a problem I recently read a great article on tinnybuddha.com about how to advise wisely. I hope you find it to be helpful!
10 Tips to Advise Wisely: How to Give Advice That Actually Helps
Here are some highlights:
- “Most of the time when someone comes to you, they’re not expecting you to have all the answers or even talk. They just want someone to lend an ear and be by their side through a difficult time.”
- “Give them a rant window. Oftentimes when people ask for advice, what they really want is to rehash something they can’t get off their mind–something they’ve probably talked about repeatedly to lots of different people (maybe even anyone who’d listen).”
- “Rather than beginning your advice with, “You should have,” or “Why didn’t you…?” realize what’s done is done, and focus on what they can do or change right now. Try something like, “It might help to consider….” Then, offer your support along the path.”
- “It doesn’t matter so much that you have all the answers. More often that not, people know what’s right for them; they just want to feel validated and supported.”
- “You don’t always have to have the right words. Actions speak louder, anyway. But if you do have something to say, know that how you say it can make a world of difference.”