If your marriage is suffering, this is something to consider.

 
Ask yourself: What is it like for my partner to be loved by me?
That’s a big question. I actually asked myself that once and I realized that my husband was totally being neglected, and that being loved by me meant that I wasn’t paying much attention to him.
When you realize what it’s like for your spouse to be loved by you and when you put yourself in their shoes, you start to have a deeper understanding of what they’re going through, and what needs they have that aren’t being met. And vice versa, sharing with them what it feels like to be loved by them. Not in a judgmental, critical way, but in an openhearted, sharing, loving way.

What can we do when we feel criticized or when we feel attacked, and we want to defend yourself?

 
Defending ourselves is natural and human when we feel attacked, so the most important thing to think about is receiving the criticism, with a statement such as:
“I understand you feel that way, tell me what makes you feel that way and what’s your experience.”
It’s kind of like being a ninja. You take it and then you do something else with it. You don’t have to block it, you don’t have to defend yourself, just bring it in, be open to receiving what another person has to say, and thank them for their feedback.

This one is near and dear to me… How to be kinder to ourselves?

 
I’ve recently been thinking about this… When I witness my daughter, she’s so joyful. She’s almost three and she’s so full of light, love, and purity. She’s so easy to love when she’s in that state. When I think of that child and how easy she is to love, and how pure she is, all of a sudden I realize that I’m that child, and that you’re that child, and that we’re all those children. But, somehow, we get muddied and we forget that. We judge, we compare, we criticize, and we disconnect from that essence.
So in order to really get better at loving ourselves, it’s important to realize that we are those innocent, pure beings of light that deserve nothing more than to be loved and accepted.

What to do when you’re having trouble sleeping because you’re dealing with anxiety?

 
Going to sleep is a really vulnerable time. It’s a time when you need to be fully relaxed. But a lot of people tend to just go, go go, and they never fully let their guard down.
So what I recommend is having a bedtime routine that is intentional about letting your guard down and being more vulnerable. Take a bath, put on music, read something, light candles, do something that really feels relaxing and lets you open your heart and be more vulnerable. Feel.