Should we always say something and speak up when something is annoying to us?
A rule of thumb is to think of this as a spiritual practice. Whether it’s your relationship with your partner or with your loved ones, your feelings are your responsibility.
Different people in our lives in different situations that happen are triggers for our feelings to arise. But we can’t blame those people and use statements such as: “you made me feel this way.” It’s not helpful, because it’s giving them the power, and it’s letting them be in charge of how we feel. These people may be triggers, but the feelings are still ours.
So, when in doubt, if you want to say something, instead of placing blame, share your feelings with these kind of statements: “I’d like you to understand what it is that I’m going through, what it is that I’m dealing with, and how I’m trying to handle it within myself,” instead of these kind of statements: “You need to do something differently so that I don’t feel this way.”