I’d like to share a little bit about where my book “Extraordinary Mommy” came from.

 
Essentially, I grew up in a home that was far from ordinary. Many people referred to it as Willy Wonka’s factory. There were hearts on the walls, ice cream sundae paintings, and hot pink leather couches. Every post on the walkway was in a different pastel color, my mailbox was shaped like a big pink heart, and it was all just overflowing with love and deliciousness. All this was based on my mom’s commitment to live from love.
Of all the people I’ve known, of over 60 countries of world travel, of being in private practice for over a decade, and knowing so many stories, I’ve never heard of, and I’ve never come across another parent who parented with such dedication, consciousness, clarity, confidence, joy, ease, and patience. As a child I knew how rare it was, and how special it was. And, yet, I felt a little undeserving, that I just got lucky, that I didn’t earn it, that I didn’t have to do anything to receive it.
And then one day about three years ago, my mom was coming to meet me for lunch and she never showed up. She died in a car accident, and that was it. Needless to say it was the most painful day, year, experience of my life.
An entire year later, on the actual anniversary of her death, my daughter was born. The synchronicity, the beauty, the connectedness of that moment was really what channeled this book, my third child. Essentially, “Extraordinary Mommy” contains the ten golden nuggets that I received from my extraordinary mother. It’s me reflecting, as a new mother and as a psychotherapist, about what are the key things that I need to do. Not how to feed my kids, or how to sleep train them, but how do I need to be, how do I need to show up for them in the way that they need it. Our energy as mothers, and as parents all together, is contagious, and how we show up affects everybody. It affects the entire home. And so, when I started writing this book it was essentially for me, and then I realized that my mother is gone, so that I would find the courage to share.
And so, this is my mission: to let her legacy live on, and to make sure that all kids get the kind of love that I so gratefully received, because what I realized is that not only was I worthy of being loved like that, but all children are. This book is supposed to be in your hands, in the hands of every mother you know, and we’re going to change the world from the next generation, from the home, because that’s where everything begins.
So if you’re interested in getting “Extraordinary Mommy,” which you should be, and everyone should get it, I’m shamelessly promoting it because I do believe that every single person and every single parent needs this book, go to JasminTerrany.com/ExtraordinaryMommy

Let’s talk a little bit about what to do when you doubt yourself as a parent.

 
There are three things to really think about in that moment when you’re doubting yourself as a parent, feeling like you don’t know what you’re doing, thinking that you’re doing a bad job, or wondering what you could be doing differently.
The first thing to really think about is what would love do? What would love do, how can you be love? Because love isn’t ever controlling, angry, or aggressive. Love is open. I’d like to think of love as an open hand that isn’t holding on to anything, but lets things flow and pass through.
Another thing to think about is: what am I supposed to be learning right now? When we think about parenting, oftentimes we think a lot about what it is we want to teach our kids, but the reality is that they are our teachers as well. And so, when we are struggling, when we’re doubting ourselves, we really need to be focusing on what it is that we need to be learning right then, in that moment.
The last thing to remember is that it’s okay to be human. It’s okay. It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to doubt yourself. It’s okay to be human, because we are, and as long as we’re learning, as long as we’re growing, as long as we’re coming back to love, then there’s nothing better we can be doing.

Here’s another tip for how to communicate better with your partner.

 
One word that you should never, ever use with your partner is the word: “why.”
Do not say “why.” Do not ask your partner, or anybody for that matter, why did they do something or why did something happen. Don’t use “why” in any context because when you say “why,” how does it make someone feel? Defensive.
We need to think about being lovingly curious, because why is confrontational and it makes people feel defensive. When we use lovingly curious language such as: “is there any particular reason you did that,” or “what was going on that made you do that,” or “I’d like to understand better where that came from,” we’re trying to actually listen to the other person, and the sentiment is coming across that our intention is to understand.
But when we say “why” it feels like our intention is to prove our point, and not actually understand what the other person has to say, which creates disconnect in communication.

Let’s talk about gratitude and how it can help us feel better on a daily basis.

 
Everyone talks about the importance of gratitude, but here’s an actual tip for how to feel more grateful: say “at least.”
Just put it into your training. Every time something feels horrible or annoying, add “at least.” At least we have running water, at least we have clean air to breathe, at least everyone I love woke up today.
There are so many things to be grateful for, but it’s hard to focus on them when we’re shifting our focus in a different direction. By adding the words “at least,” we can shift focus onto what really matters most.